Thursday, September 6, 2012

[Traumatic Event] The flag

     Facing the breeze carrying the fresh scent of fall, he looked down. Almost two thousand people were looking up towards the podium and the boy. There was a girl next to him but at the moment, the boy felt like he was the center of the world. From the perception of a twelve year old, receiving attention from such a crowd was more than overwhelming.

     To the right of the boy was a flag. In its velvet glory under the autumn sun, the flag danced slightly to the wind. For the boy, the flag was the source of his current position and the companion of the glorious moment. In a moment after the principal's speech, the boy would grip the silver body of the flag and let it free. But for the time being, he was listening to the prolonged speech that he has heard every year. He just stood there, with his black hair blown by the wind and glasses reflecting the sunlight.
     Only a moment has passed but the boy seemed to be growing impatient at every syllable pronounced. After the dreadful moment, it became his turn to stand in front of the podium. He gave a short speech given to him by the school and walked towards the flag. Gently grasping the metal rod, he pulled as if he was pulling the ancient sword from a rock.
     He seemed astonished for a moment, perhaps because of the unexpected heaviness of the flag. Nevertheless, he picked it up and came to the front of the podium. Standing there, a step behind the metal rail that separated him from the glare of two thousand students, he began to wave the flag. Fluttering away in the wind, the flag, representing the school, showed its velvet glory.
     After two swings however, the pole of the flag came into contact with the mike that was standing near the boy. Obviously, the mike fell and the wires connected to it also tangled among themselves. The principal who was standing at the back of the podium came and picked up the mike stand himself. In a few moments everything came back to normal. Most of the students just stood there as if they had not noticed but some managed to laugh. When the laughter flew over to the boy in a split second and he flushed in redness, perhaps like the color of the flag, now leaning on the metal rail.

     It was a mistake, nothing serious and the rest of the day went on fine. But that moment, for some reason was unforgettable for the boy. The thought that he was not strong enough to wave a flag properly could have hurt his twelve year old mind. Or it could be for no reason. But even to this day, six years after, the shabby flag leaning on the metal rail is clear in the boy's mind.

3 comments:

  1. Well written, and well structured. Very descriptive moment to moment recapturing of a dramatic moment. While it may not fit the definition of "trauma" as you well admit, it is still a vivid picture. I like your "sword from a stone" description.

    Not the most ambitious piece of writing you've ever done, but consistent.

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  2. "Almost two thousand people were looking cup towards the podium and the boy."

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  3. The writing as a whole is very well organized. I could clearly understand what you were trying to say, and understand the story. I appreciate the effort you devoted on describing sensory images and your inner feelings.

    However, i could see that you write sentences needlessly long, where you can use appropriate vocabularies or sentence structures to shorten the length and make the sentences more clear. Some grammar errors could be also noticed. For example "Standing there ~ students" was not a sentence at all, even though i could understand what you were trying to say. Some unnecessary passive uses could be spotted. The writing would much improve if you elaborate on these things.

    Nonetheless I enjoyed reading your work!

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